UK AIDS Quilt: Behind the Stitches
After visiting the UK AIDS Memorial Quilt on display at the Turbine Hall at the TATE in the summer of 2025, I found myself deeply moved by the creativity and craftsmanship evident at all levels, alongside the poignant individual stories embedded in each panel. Whether driven by curiosity or the absence of a permanent memorial commemorating those lost in the AIDS pandemic, I found myself repeatedly pondering who these individuals were and how life had treated them.
This reflection led me to research various quilts that particularly caught my eye—especially those that displayed only a forename. This choice, whether intentional or a reflection of the fear surrounding openly memorialising loved ones with their full names, added layers of mystery and anonymity that invited further contemplation on the personal and societal impact of the epidemic, whilst also learning more about who they were.
Roy Brian Astle was born on the 10th of August 1960 in Manchester, contrary to the 12th as stated on the panel. He was the fifth of nine children born to Brian Oswald Astle and Jean Oliver. His siblings included Adriane, Paula, the twins Brian and Kim, himself, followed by Jean, Paula, and additional twins Colin and Wendy, who were born in the spring of 1971. Tragically, their father Brian Oswald passed away on New Year’s Day 1971 at the age of 35, leaving Roy, then just 10 years old, to grow up without his father.
Manchester News: 5 Jan 1971
Image courtesy of UK AIDS Memorial Quilt - AIDSquiltUK.org
Before Roy moved to Brighton, his life as a young man had become increasingly difficult. News reports suggested that he was involved in a troubled relationship characterised by frequent arguments and instances where he was threatened with a knife. During one particularly volatile dispute, a man he was living with, visibly intoxicated, brandished a knife and then climbed onto a balcony ledge. When Roy tried to prevent him from falling by pulling him back, the man tragically lost his balance and fell to his death. Following this incident, Roy found himself facing a court case, charged with manslaughter.
It appears the jury made the right decision in clearing Roy of any wrongdoing. Although we were not present, the circumstances described suggest the situation was problematic, with Mr Ashcroft having placed himself in danger while intoxicated, leading to a regrettable loss of footing and a subsequent fall.
For reasons not fully disclosed, Roy relocated to Brighton, Sussex, perhaps seeking a fresh start. Little is known about his time there, but it is hoped that the podcast’s reach might encourage those who remember Roy to come forward. What is known, from the quilt dedicated in his memory, is that Roy tragically lost his life to AIDS on 10th August 1992, aged just 32.
Photos: Roy, stitched upon his quilt [UK AIDS Memorial Quilt]
The quilt dedicated to Andrew was lovingly crafted by Ajay, a fellow Oxford student and Andrew’s secret lover. Their relationship was kept hidden, as they were not openly homosexual during their time at university. Ajay detailed the quilt’s design as a deeply personal tribute to his ‘first and only love,’ incorporating a cassette tape featuring Andrew’s favourite songs.
Near the bottom, the quilt displays the friendship band Andrew gave Ajay when they first met as friends at Oxford. Included within the fabric is a sealed envelope containing a poem Ajay had intended to send Andrew but never did, having sadly heard of Andrew’s death before he could. The quilt also holds the necklaces they exchanged and the ring Andrew gave Ajay on their first anniversary, each piece symbolising the profound connection and enduring love between the two.
Ajay shared that Andrew’s parents were not supportive of either their relationship or Andrew’s homosexuality, nor were they accepting of his AIDS diagnosis. It appears that Andrew was taken back to his parents’ home for the remainder of his illness where Ajay wrote to Andrew. Ajay also mentioned that the tape contains songs played at Andrew’s cremation, which may indicate that Ajay was permitted to attend the service, despite the earlier lack of support from Andrew’s family.
Image courtesy of UK AIDS Memorial Quilt - AIDSquiltUK.org
Ajay promised—though it sounded more like a demand—that Andrew’s surname would not be included in the creation and submission of the quilt. Respecting this, Ajay kept his word meticulously, crafting a heartfelt tribute that honoured Andrew's memory without revealing his full identity. Tragically, just four weeks after sending his lovingly made quilt to the Names Project, Ajay took his own life, leaving behind a profound sense of loss and a testament to the weight of those ‘affected’ and not ‘infected’.
1989: Ajay Chotai
Ajay’s full name, Ajakumar Mansurhal Chotai, stands out as not particularly “Kenyan” despite what the press had reported. A closer look reveals that his forename, ‘Ajakumar’, is of Sanskrit origin, rooted in Indian culture, while his surname ‘Chotai’ is commonly found in Indian communities, particularly from Gujarat and Rajasthan.
This heritage sheds light on the ink-stamped symbols found on Andrew’s quilt, which appear to be a deliberate reference to Hindu iconography. Given Ajay’s background and likely connection to Indian faith or belief systems, these symbols seem an accessible and meaningful inclusion rather than a coincidental or misplaced detail.
Additionally, I found an article on AIDS services in Leicester from 1989, where Ajay was a volunteer a year prior to Ajay beginning his engineering studies at Oxford University, where he would later meet Andrew. Within the article was a group photograph that notably included Ajay, highlighting his early involvement in community health initiatives during a critical period of the AIDS epidemic. This discovery sheds light on a lesser-known aspect of his life before his academic pursuits, revealing a commitment to social causes that parallels his intellectual endeavours. It also underscores how attuned he was to treating others with love and kindness, fostering a sense of compassion that would define both his personal and professional life.
While there is no official birth record for Ajay in the UK, it is documented that he commenced his education at Glebe Primary School in Harrow, London, at the age of four [Reception/First Year]. This detail suggests that he likely arrived in the UK as a very young child, possibly even as a baby, accompanied by his parents or family.
I feel Andrew’s life should not be hidden away in secret, especially as society has become increasingly accepting of both homosexuality and HIV/AIDS. During my research, I prioritised verifying the accuracy of the information I uncovered, and considered the sensitivity of reaching out to any surviving relatives. This process led me to reflect on the necessity of fully identifying Andrew, particularly now that his story, alongside Ajay’s, is commemorated through the quilt. The memorial itself serves as a powerful testament to their lives, perhaps allowing for a focus on collective remembrance rather than individual identification.
Image courtesy of UK AIDS Memorial Quilt - AIDSquiltUK.org
Elaine Grieve was born on 29th March 1969 in Bellshill, Strathclyde, Scotland, to Moira Creighton and Gavin Grieve. She was the youngest of three siblings, with an older sister, Kim, and an older brother, Paul.
Little is known about Elaine, other than that after leaving Scotland, she joined her sister in Islington, London, where she worked as a waitress. Having seen a photograph* of Elaine—a striking young woman with bright pink spiky hair and clothing evocative of the punk and new age traveller scene—she would undoubtedly have blended seamlessly into the vibrant Islington culture of the time. The area was then a hub for artists, punks, designers, and creatives, making it a fitting backdrop for someone of Elaine’s distinctive style and alternative edge.
Given the lovingly made memorial in her memory on the AIDS quilt, it is clear that Elaine’s premature death was a consequence of AIDS. Elaine passed away on 16th March 1994, aged just 24, at 11 Lyndhurst Gardens in the London Borough of Camden, with her sister Kim by her side. This address is still home to the Marie Curie Hospice, and to which Elaine’s death was officially recorded as resulting from Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome.
Nine days after her passing, a noticewas placed in the Scottish newspaper, the Lanark and Carluke Advertiser, commemorating her life whilst announcing her passing.
*We would only ever share personal photographs with the explicit permission of the owner, respecting their privacy and wishes. We hope to receive a response from Elaine’s family in the future.
